And as he is, who unwills what he willed,
And by new thoughts doth his intention change
So that from his design he quite withdraws,
Such I became, upon that dark hillside,
Because, in thinking, I consumed the emprise,
Which was so very prompt in the beginning.
The Divine Comedy Canto II
My response to darkness of disposition is most often to embrace it. I know Elijah under the juniper tree. Been there, done that. I may hold the copyright to the T-shirt that goes with it. Life is not all complex shades of gray, nor is it only the white of positive thinkers’ dreams. Life is black as well and to deny the darkness, or refuse to face it, is to fail to live. I believe it’s what we do in the darkness of the black that truly defines us.
I was never any good at Literature. That may seem a strange confession for a writer. I was not particularly good at discerning the deep hidden meaning and motivation of the author that lay beneath the surface of the story. I don’t know if I ever have such feelings while writing. So, if I say Dante went through hell to find heaven, that’s very superficial.
In the black darkness of despair, who we allow to guide us is important. The best guides do not steer us away from pain, but through it. The dark wilderness thrust upon us by life will dampen our enthusiasm for facing life boldly. Finding ourselves lost in the dark, the courage to go flees from us.
The voice that says, “Go on” is the voice of God. The true course is not to escape or change course, but to see our quest through along our chosen path.
I do not particularly fear death, to die is gain. It is much harder to live, for that is Christ. To live is to pour out our own life for others without applause, without recognition, without respect, and without thanks. If that seems a dark path through the wilderness, it is. The adventure is worth seeing through to the end.
Thou hast my heart so with desire disposed
To the adventure, with these words of thine,
That to my first intent I have returned.
Comments